May 2013
esexist:
i just got called a faggot by a group of 6th graders wearing polos
thegirl-inred:
toned-tanned-fit-andready:
v0nlaust:
caliiforniadreaming-xo:
gothicstan:
localised:
do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts
yes but the problem is i dont want to get murdered u feel me
i feel you
we all feel you
why...
17 tags
“It is a soft ‘G,’ pronounced ‘jif.’ End of... →
squarizona:
earlier today I drove past some tea partiers protesting near the irs building and I was stopped at a red light reading their signs and this dude walked up to my car and was like “LEMME HEAR YA HONK UR HORN FOR LIBERTY, DARLIN” and I laughed and I was like “haha, nahhhh” and then the light changed and I drove away
guess what sound bit I just heard on the news
Message me a body part, this looks so interesting
Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
Skin: Do you tan easily?
Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
Tongue: What was in your last meal?
Windpipe: Do you sing?
Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
Back: Are you a virgin?
Hips: Do you like to dance?
Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
Feet: Do you ever wear heels just for the hell of it?
Toes: Do you like country music?
vanillaspanks:
Do you ever go to sleep and forget you have an assignment to do so it’s just like
fearless-stormclaw:
fartgallery:
bel0w-zer0:
fartgallery:
what if cars didnt have wheels but had mechanical feet so you just saw cars running around everywhere
It would give running someone over a whole new meaning
a hit and run
running a red light
scraggay:
I C ANT BREAHTE MY GRANDMA HAS ALZHEIMERS AND JUST SAID TO MY PREGNANT SISTER “DAMN YOU GOT FAT” OMG
soapiie:
simonmarshallcolfer:
so in class today, someone insulted Jennifer Lawrence by calling her a butterface, and i just stood up and yelled “NO ONE INSULTS THE PRINCESS OF TUMBLR”, but then someone else yelled out “EVERYONE KNOWS THE PRINCESS OF TUMBLR IS DEAN WINCHESTER”
this post gave me major second hand embarrassment
^same
freeabortions:
feels cute
takes selfie
nvm
steelplatedhearts:
Alternate title for The Great Gatsby:
I Am Uncomfortable With Your Personal Drama And I Want To Go Home: The Nick Carraway Story
mytoecold:
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Love,
Drew
isurvivedthekobayashimaru:
I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him...
flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
diagondaley:
buttgenie:
i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens
#especially those sarcastic witty teachers who have amazing comebacks but everyone is fucking moronic and not intelligent enough to understand the beauty of what theyre saying and i get so upset
